Just wait..

“Just wait.. till your marriage crumbles.”

The opening statement to a tiktok I just watched warning new moms about the struggles of bringing home a new baby and the way it tests your marriage. I’m honestly so sick of the “just wait” statements that are meant to scare new moms. And seeing this video I actually let out an audible laugh because when your a military family your marriage is tested with or without kids. And knowing we’re facing a rotation with a new baby while watching this just made me roll my eyes to the back of my head.

So, if you’re someone who talks to a new mom and uses these “Just wait” statements, listen up:

WE. KNOW. THINGS. WILL. BE. HARD.
You reiterating what we are already dealing with, anxious for, and second guessing does not help us. You know what will? Being there for us. Instead of “just wait till you can’t shower alone,” say “if you want me to come sit with baby while you shower just call me.” Instead of “just wait till you’re both staring at each other crying,” say “PPD and PPA is real so if you are struggling please call me and I can talk you through steps to help you.”

I won’t lie, yeah, I’m anxious. The Korea tour did a number on me and my husband both. And knowing we’re approaching a rotation and the birth of my son combined has me in ALL the feelings and extremely hormonal to a point I’m isolating myself. (Yay trauma response). And I can tell you hearing the “just wait” statements make it worse. Especially being 18+ hours from family and not having a tight knit circle like I’m used to.

To my constant “just wait” commenters… just wait to say anything and when you do, make it helpful. New moms need your support more than your need to be the “I told you so” person.